I love this time of year! At least when the sun is out. I love the pure joy of a deep freeze and clear skies and bright sun.
As a Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapist, I am honored when a person’s body opens up to tell a story. Muscles become primed in tensegrity and excitement, a heart trembles with loss, lungs fizz with life and happiness. Or fascia may be held rigid in terror and “freeze”, afraid to move. For some, this “freeze” gets mirrors in the cold months. Some remember a terror. Others have an overwhelming build up of stress. And some feel it all, with an ancient existential edge to it all. Underneath it, a question. “Is it safe to exist in my own skin?”
One winter I felt a ton of freeze and terror. Interestingly, I was feeling a relative safety in my process for my body to be able to express in this way, looking under the covers of depression. And so that winter I found space to feel freeze and terror and at the same time look around and know that I was, actually, OK.
As the cold goes on outside, winter solstice has come and the light is growing, piercing the shadows. I like this. Grief and terror are not always left abruptly behind, but light spreads and we begin to feel other things as well. Our bodies start to modulate. There is a beautiful dance between older extremes in our nervous system, tempered by oxytocin and new pathways, that allow us to engage differently with life and each other. The slight buzz of moving toward a friendly face, a delicious meal. The “freeze without fear” of resting happily, enjoying a full belly and the warmth of loved ones. The joy of walking, bundled in woolies, in a frozen landscape with bright sun overhead.